WEEK 39 - April 23rd 2018 - A sad day and week for our family

June 13, 2018

WEEK 39 - April 23rd 2018 - A sad day and week for our family

WEEK 39 - Week of April 23rd

FROM LISA:

So for those who don't know, on this date in April (I'm posting weeks later since so much has happened in our family) my dear Father-in-law unexpectedly passed away. There are many difficult details of that day as you can imagine, but I am choosing to share one of the tender mercies for our family as it relates to Connor, his grandpa and his mission.

On this raining Monday morning, my sweet father-in-law probably had no idea that this was his last day on earth. How do we know that he didn't know? Well, truth is we don't really know but after a very life altering phone call from my mother-in-law, a frantic trip to the local hospital in Bluffton, finding out my father-in-law had passed away, we were devastated and to say the least, broken. We had just suffered the loss of my mom just weeks earlier and now we were facing an even MORE unexpected loss.

Quietly we sat in that little hospital family room and began the arduous task of looking at one another and saying, "Now what?!" This "what do we do next" question had MANY meanings and the obvious was funeral arrangements and coming to terms with this monumental loss in our lives. But ANYONE who has a missionary serving KNOWS that having your child far from home at these pivotal family times of crisis realizes how additionally difficult it can be. Communication, emotional support, and just who tells them and how. AND to make our personal story more complicated this all occurred on a Monday - just hours from Connor's normal emailing time. As a missionary family we KNEW it was Connor's Pday and we KNEW we would have to tell him the tragic news. Oh my heart was full for both my mother-in-law's precious loss and my sweet boy who would be devastated - and also be so far from home.

So our questions persisted as Matt, my mother-in-law, and myself made our drive from the hospital back to my inlaws' home.... How would we break the news? Did Grampy even write to Connor before passing away? If he did write, what did he write to Connor? Would there be any clue he knew it was his last day on earth? SO MANY QUESTIONS FLOODED OUR MINDS!!

As we entered the house, we all moved quickly to Grampy's i-pad to see if he had written to Connor. Indeed he had - it was the very last email he sent. We opened it and read it with the curiosity of a detective. We all agreed that Grampy had no idea his time was close. Sobering thought that just hours from that email he would take his last breath. :( (Connor makes reference to the email in his letter below.)

Next most important (Naturally, there was many family things taking place in these moments, I am just focused on how our situation unfolded as it relates to Connor in this blog post) was to get the news to Connor's mission president as fast as we could - We KNEW President Herrera (whom Connor LOVES) would have the skills, love and leadership to break the news rather than through an impersonal email from us. We KNEW Pres would make sure Connor called us as soon as possible, too. He is a great great man. So I called my friend Jessica (who grew up in Peru) who lives in UT who speaks fluent Spanish and also has a son in Cusco on a mission to ask her if she would call the mission home AGAIN for me. (She had just called when my Mom passed away, too) She agreed to call President immediately and ask him to get the news to Connor. You see, Pres. Herrera's native language is Spanish and Jessica had the ability to talk to him as only another fluent Spanish speaker could do. I could try my best in English, but I wanted her to be able to express to Pres Herrera the important details and emotions we were feeling. I was worried and concerned and someone needed to get to my boy ASAP!!

What happened next was very special...

Connor had enjoyed a great Pday in Cusco with all the other missionaries. It was late afternoon and he and his companion, Elder J were headed to the Mototaxi/Bus station to head back home to Urcos (an hour away). As he approached the station, he got a phone call from Pres. Herrera. He was asked, "Elder Clancy, where are you right now?" Connor told him the bus station. Pres. asked if he had spoken to me? Connor said no and Pres asked him to turn around immediately and come back to the mission home. Connor's heart sunk wondering what had happened. I am sure you can empathize with his emotions as he has had a fair share of unexpected challenges while serving. So he and Elder J made the trek back to the Mission Office.

Upon arrival he was greeted by the Mission APs (Assistant to the Presidents) Elder Coil and Elder ? They hugged him and told him they were there for him and then Pres. Herrera came in the room. Connor told me he walked directly to him (bypassing all others), put his arms around him in a bear hug and took him into his office where they sat knee to knee as Pres. broke the devastating news to Connor. Connor's words describing that meeting were powerful and spiritual. He felt loved and supported. The following day they met again and Connor felt that Pres truly understood him as Pres Herrera had been far from home on business when he lost his beloved father many years earlier.

Pres Herrera gave Connor a blessing of comfort and Connor said it was truly amazing. He shared other things too personal to share on this public blog but I have to say that as a mom, I was more than grateful that God had intervened at those tender moments. Connor KNEW that God knew him and our family. He KNEW he was watched over and he KNEW he would be ok.

Pres. asked Connor what he could do RIGHT THAT MOMENT to help. He asked if Connor wanted to spend the night at the mission home with the APs and while Connor would have appreciated that, Connor asked if he might spend the night with his first companion Elder Clobes and his MTC companion Elder Cromwell and both their companions who were sharing an apartment in Cusco. Pres Herrera gave him an enthusiastic yes and that is how the night progressed on. See more below on Connor's response to that time with his mission buddies whom he loves so much!!

By the way, much of what I know about these experiences came from our Skype session with Connor that Wednesday. It was wonderful to see and hear him and to know that he could chat with Grammy and reflect on so many memories about Grampy with all of us. It was cathartic and oh so meaningful!!

You will see from his letter below some of the other blessings that came his way through this trial.

Thanks to all who have reached out to us during these trying months. No proper words of gratitude but forever grateful!

-Lisa

CONNOR'S LETTER:

After our call last night I called mi querido hermano(my dear brother) and we talked for 20 minutes or so. Miss that dude ( y´all too of course)

Then I was able to have an interview with President. Let me tell ya that was a powerful interview filled with his past experiences the stories I have with Grandpa and I am really grateful for all the years of support I recieved from him even if Grammy was the one dragging him to my baseball games ;)

President shared with me about when his father died. He was 81 years old and really far from President. President was really close with his father but never got that proper goodbye all of us want so much. He shared about how thats why we have to cherish people while they are here with us and he assured me that I did that well enough.

He asked what he could do for me and I asked for a call this week and he said absolutely when I want, how I want, and for as long as we want. He has been a great comfort. Also he gave me permission to stay with Elder Clobes and Elder Cromwell last night. We had a ball.

With Elder Cromwell and Elder Clobes we talked a lot about Grampy and I am super happy for all the many memories I have with him. Told them lots of stories hahaha. Mainly the enthusiastic bathing suits and NC trips every year.

This morning Elder Clobes talked to me a lot about how special the timing of everything of. I was so focused on how its really hard timing for me being that I can't be there for support, but he looked at it from another point of view. What he was able to show me was that I was leaving Cusco when President called me and how much harder it would have been if I was in Urcos alone. Then how special my change was 4 weeks ago that I could be here in Cusco with Elder Cromwell, with him, with Elder Ordoñez, President, Elder Coil, Elder Larsen (office buddy), and just so many people that love and cherish me and how special everything was. He really helped me see the beauty of the timing. Even that I could get one last email from him.

´´ A good day to relax, get the news on my iPad, and enjoy the sounds of rain on the roof.

All is well in Sun City.

Biggest thing on our agenda this week is a trip to NC for your cousins Birthday, the big 21!

Hope all is well with you.

Love, Grampy ´´

What a guy.

Sure will never ever forget the impact he made on me.

Love ya tons and can't wait to hear back!

So on a completely different note the Saturday BEFORE this blog post, I did a crazy but fun thing! I drove to Atlanta to meet with two of my missionary momma friends and their family and friends too!!!!!

Let me explain....The day Connor left on his mission last summer I was fortunate enough to meet (via Facebook) a whole bunch of other moms across the country who had sons also going to Peru. Our boys met up at the Atlanta airport for the very first time and started their friendships AND missions together. They flew to Peru and entered the CCM (also called the Mission Training Center in Spanish) on July 26th for their 6 week mission training. Those boys bonded deeply during those weeks and then flew off to different areas of the country of Peru serving with all their hearts!!

This special group of Moms have been keeping in touch every single week since. We have written about joys, sadnesses, triumphs, difficulties, heartaches, celebrations, illnesses (and believe me there have been some TOUGH things these boys have faced) and all manner of missionary related experiences. We are a support for each other and have celebrated and suffered side by side (ON LINE OF COURSE ha ha) <3

So Susan, who happens to LIVE in Atlanta invited me to join her and GeorgeAnn (who lives in Vegas but was in Atlanta on family business) for lunch at THE FREAKIN' INCAN!!! I jumped.....actually truth be told I was sure I was being crazy to drive 5 hours for lunch, but ya know what? Life is short as seen from my post above (and latest life experience) and I would not trade that sweet weekend for anything!! Seeing and connecting with other missionary moms is a blessing beyond measure and just what I needed for my hurting heart. Love these sweet people and am grateful for all that we have shared together. Enjoy our pics!! (P.S. Food was amazing!!!)

Special shoutout to Susan and her husband who so graciously opened their home to me so at least I didn't have the added expense of a hotel!! Such a fun night and grateful for a new friendship!!!

Connor was SOOOOOOO excited that I had been able to make this trip!!